For me, it’s not arguing anymore. As someone who has always enjoyed a good debate and has typically been fairly outspoken – respectful or otherwise – on anything, I think the time has come to be more of a passive observer. I say this because I doubt I have ever changed anyone’s mind through any kind of serious debate.
Still, in the vociferous anger arena, I do, on occasion, find myself yelling out loud at the news now and then, even though nobody is listening – in particular when I see and hear 45 speak. It is painfully obvious how foolish, egotistical, and unaware of the issues this man reveals to the public every time he opens his mouth. It’s a tragedy. But I keep this reaction in the privacy of my home, with my wife occasionally asking me to stop, because it has become obvious that arguing about this truly tragic American circumstance will not change anyone’s mind, not to mention that it’s extraordinarily tiresome.
I feel that all I can do now is vote and maybe show up at an anti-Trump protest prior to mid-term elections.
There is a part of me that wants to punch every Trumpian square in the nose – a truly ungraceful, stupid and dangerous act to say the least. Instead, I just wait patiently, gracefully, without word or deed.
I think to age gracefully really means that you have come to that time in your life when you no longer have to prove anything. You can be silent. Now is when you can be yourself without giving it another thought. If you don’t like me, so what. I no longer need acceptance by anyone other than myself and my loved ones. I believe that is the way to age gracefully. I think becoming that brings a certain calmness and patience that puts you in an inner peace zone that is unbreakable.
A powerful quote I’ve been frequently seeing online on various social media lately goes like this: “Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it’s a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.” It’s from Brené Brown, author of “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.” Combine that quote with living authentically as possible and I think the picture of aging gracefully becomes clear.
To conclude, a recent and very succinct post on Medium’s Personal Growth section, probably said it best: https://medium.com/personal-growth/what-you-can-do-instead-of-arguing-c72859b48707. In short, “Once you enter into an argument, you’re entering into another person’s world. And that world may not be a rational one. You’ll probably just end up frustrated.”